Editor's Column by Tess Chierici I said sharply, "I've been on The Voice for a while; I think I know what I'm doing."

Back to Table of Contents | Back to Main Index Previous Editor's Columns | Send mail to The Voice Editor struggles with loving others Sarah kept rattling on. I acknowledged her with an occasional "uh huh" and a smile, but we both knew I wasn't listening. I could tell I hurt her with my indifference, but I didn't care because I was tired. I wanted my roommate to stop talking so I could go to bed. * * * Six hours of staring at a computer in the Journalism House had worn my nerves. One of my reporters criticized a page I was laying out. Before he could finish, I said sharply, "I've been on The Voice for a while; I think I know what I'm doing." * * * I threw myself on my bed in a fit of anger. A friend had canceled the plans we had made, and I was alone, again, on a Friday night. My pride and self-pity consumed my thoughts as I pouted. Never mind that my friend needed support and prayer through the hard time he was going through. * * * Last September God placed a question inside my mind that has been sinking in to my heart ever since. "Tess, do you really love me and others?" I feel like a broken record is playing this question over and over again in my mind. In Matt. 22, Jesus answers the question about which is the greatest commandment: "'You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind'... The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" Lately every class, chapel, church service and conversation has called me to die to myself. In advanced writing, Professor Pothen challenged the class to be humble when arguing. My claim must not govern me but rather a desire for the truth. For me to have humility, I must surrender my selfish desires to Christ. In family chapel, Dr. Lockwood has been teaching on the fruit of the Spirit. I can't help but see that joy, peace, patience and so on stem out of the first fruit, love. Galatians 5:24, the verse following the fruit of the Spirit, says, "Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." The pastor of my church is teaching through Exodus. He has stopped at chapter 20 to devote special time to each of the Ten Commandments. I'm learning that loving God requires obedience. "Tess, do you really love me and others?" My actions answer no. My actions answer that I love myself more than I love God and others. When my roommate shares something on her heart, I can love her by listening. When my reporters try my patience, I can love them by exercising self-control. When a friend needs time alone, I can love him or her by understanding and giving my friend space. God is showing me that the core of my being is selfish. Hidden motives taint even my purest actions. I have been extremely frustrated the last several months as I have tried to change my selfish nature. God is teaching me I can't change. God is telling me to quit trying to change but instead to repent and confess my poverty. In and of myself I can't love others; I can't love God. However, as I surrender more of myself to Christ, I find Him giving me love for Him and for those He created. Back to Table of Contents | Back to Main Index Previous Editor's Columns | Top Of Page Send mail to The Voice| Journalism department website © 2003 The Voice. No part of this publication may be reproduced in written or electronic form without prior written consent from the journalism adviser of Multnomah Bible College. All rights reserved.