Cover Story

by Allison Brandow

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In Multnomah's Dating Game, the Rules Change

Neither Rick nor Haley Baker dated anyone else at Multnomah Bible College.
--Jelani Memory, photo

The first week of fall semester in 1976, freshman Denise Augustine walked into the cafeteria and spotted him. She was "instantly smitten" with Kevin Stone, a senior and head waiter at evening meals.

"One of my goals coming to Multnomah was to date as many guys as I could," she said. But after seeing Mr. Stone, her goals changed. Mrs. Stone went out with a couple other men, but only until Mr. Stone asked her out a month later.

The Stones dated exclusively for two years before they officially announced their engagement. They married in 1980.

In 1977, Cindy Halverson was in her final year at Multnomah School of the Bible. At an alumni basketball game, her friend Ron Frost introduced her to Tad Aldrich, an alumnus who had come for the game. Several weeks later, she and Mr. Aldrich began dating.

The two dated for nine months, broke up for three and then married seven months later.

Mrs. Aldrich, however, dated five or six other men during the first six months of her relationship with Mr. Aldrich.

"Even then [at the beginning of the relationship], when we dated, I didn't know if he was going to call again," Mrs. Aldrich said. "I dated a lot while I was at Multnomah."

Because she knew God wanted her to marry a pastor, and because she established requirements, Mrs. Aldrich felt free to date many men.

"If I dated a guy and he wasn't going in the same direction, I didn't hang around with him [as much]," she said. "I wanted to know a lot of different personality types."

Mrs. Aldrich has two children who attend Multnomah, and she pointed to a difference between the generations.

"The difference is that there was that freedom [then] to date around, play the field, rather than date exclusively one person," Mrs. Aldrich said. She said her oldest daughter, who graduated from MBC several years ago, dated much less than she.

Trent Price, a senior, met his wife, Jamie, at Multnomah several years ago. About dating then, he said, "It seems like that when people come to Multnomah...they hope to find their spouse here, and that's fine.

"But we come into this environment where dating is kind of taboo. The Christian evangelical mentality is that you date one person, and you really shouldn't date unless you see yourself marrying [that person]."

Current students Haley and Rick Baker met in 2005 during their freshman year at Multnomah. Mrs. Baker was 18. Mr. Baker was 21. Neither one had dated anyone else at Multnomah.

At first, Mrs. Baker said, "Rick actually drove me nuts." The two saw each other around campus but didn't spend much time together. Also, Mrs. Baker was determined not to date or marry anyone.

But after Christmas break, they began hanging out more together. They built a friendship at school and at Imago Dei, where they both attended the Sunday evening service.

Near spring break, Mr. Baker wanted them to get closer. They began dating in April 2006.

After a summer filled with visits between Portland, Ore., where Mrs. Baker lived, and Boise, Idaho, where Mr. Baker led rafting trips, the couple returned to school to continue their relationship together.

"I expected him to propose maybe in December," Mrs. Baker said. But in early September, Mr. Baker asked Mrs. Baker to marry him.

The two married the next summer. They had dated for five months.

Mrs. Aldrich pointed out that neither dating method is in error. Even during her time at Multnomah, she knew people who dated exclusively.

Tarrie and David Hofman were two of those people. They met early in Mrs. Hofman's first semester at Multnomah. They dated and married a couple of years later. "I wouldn't date," Mrs. Hofman said, "unless I thought they would be a potential mate."

Mrs. Aldrich said personality and upbringing made the difference between her experience and that of the Hofmans. "It's the mentality that people grow up with," she said. "In part, my upbringing might have been to date around."

Dr. Tim Aldrich, Bible and theology professor, graduated from Multnomah in 1964. He dated about 10 women during three years of study. A couple of relationships were serious, although others were mostly for his and her enjoyment.

"Even if [relationships] never get serious, [dating] is still a learning ground," Dr. Aldrich said. "You learn about yourself, and then you begin to define the type of person you want to spend your life with. It's a fun process. I'd say, back away from this 'I don't date unless I'm going to the altar.'

"I think Multnomah is a great place to find a spouse, but I don't think enough students are taking that seriously," he said. "I'm afraid some [students] sort of blithely go on without actually intentionally building relationships."

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