Cover Story by Courtney Anderson "Homosexuality is not a sexual issue," Mr. Thompson said, "but a relational issue between God, parents and peers..

Back to Table of Contents | Back to Main Index Previous Cover Stories | Send mail to The Voice Exodus youth director advises how to help homosexual teens Homosexuality is a growing trend among youth. In a Massachusetts Department of Education's study, 4.4 percent of high school students identified themselves as gay, lesbian or bisexual. When compared to heterosexual adolescents, these students in the past year were 1.9 times more likely to have considered suicide, 2.3 times more likely to have planned a sui-cide, and four times more likely to have attempted suicide. Youth leaders should educate themselves about how to deal with youth who struggle with homosexuality, said Jason Thompson, youth director for Exodus International, a ministry helping people leave the homosexual lifestyle. Mr. Thompson struggled with homosexuality for more than 10 years but found deliverance through Portland Fellowship, a branch of Exodus, and through Jesus Christ. Mr. Thompson gives four suggestions to help youth pastors guide youth into a biblical view of homosexuality: Understand homosexuality, encourage transparency, discern correctly and confront biblically. Understand Homosexuality "Homosexuality is not a sexual issue," Mr. Thompson said, "but a relational issue between God, parents and peers." Drew Berryessa, 20, grew up without a father and turned to homosexuality to fill the void. After high school, he began a homosexual relationship with a man who had been in his youth group. Although Berryessa felt relief, love and acceptance in the relationship, it proved only a temporary fix. At first, he felt terrified about his feelings toward men because his Christian faith was incompatible with his homosexual lifestyle. He wondered if God had create him homosexual. Encourage Transparency To help youth be genuine, Berryessa said, pastors themselves must cultivate transparency. "Create a safe atmosphere," he said, "where kids are able to share their struggles and to confess." Berryessa grew up in a church terrified to share his feelings. The pastor would physically beat up homosexuals, Berryessa said, and he preached that homosexuality equaled demon possession. For four years, Berryessa tried to cast demons out of himself. "I couldn't understand why I was struggling," he said. "It was incredibly difficult to keep the feelings secret. I wanted to tell someone, but there wasn't anyone to talk to." Discern Correctly Mr. Thompson said youth leaders should look for signs that could mean a struggle with gender identity. Friendships with the same sex that have no boundaries and are too close. Stereotypical mannerisms such as effeminate gestures in guys. Some youth, however, try to hide or overcome their struggle with hyper-spirituality. For example, Berryessa tried to be a better Christian by becoming a licensed minister. Confront Biblically A youth pastor should prepare to handle homosexual behavior biblically, Mr. Thompson said. He suggested the following steps: Confront privately--not in a group setting. Confront truthfully. Talk gently. Call homosexuality sin. Don't waver. Confront in love. Share your own struggles and faults. Move at the teen's pace. Start slow and build trust. Berryessa warns against assuming that youth do not struggle, that church is a safe environment, or that a youth who has completed a program is OK. Temptation still comes, and without on-going support from the church body, the youth may return to his homosexual lifestyle. Mr. Thompson advised against tritely telling teens to "read their Bibles, pray more, stay away from the same sex, and date the other sex." He also cautioned against homosexual humor, which conveys judgment to struggling youth. Gently Restored During Berryessa's two years of homosexuality, he developed a friendship with James and Amy Payton, his new youth pastor and his wife. When a drama group performed at his church, Berryessa felt led join the drama troupe. He eagerly filled out an application but stopped at the question, "Have you ever had feelings of homosexuality?" He knew he couldn't hide his sin anymore; he felt he owed Mr. and Mrs. Payton the truth. One week after the drama group had performed, Berryessa confessed to the Paytons for three hours. "They already knew," Berryessa said. "They trusted me and loved me anyway. It was the first time I felt the unconditional love of God." Rather than voice their suspicions and perhaps make false accusations, the Paytons had created a safe, loving environment for Berryessa to confess. "Seeing his guilt was like a red flag," Mr. Payton said. "We knew Berryessa wasn't into drugs or alcohol. The only thing we could suspect was homosexuality." Berryessa has now successfully completed one year of Portland Fellowship's two-year program. Additional Resources www.exodusnorthamerica.org Exodus' interactive compact disk titled "The Map" educates on the root causes of homosexuality. Portland Fellowship at (503)-235-6364 Back to Table of Contents | Back to Main Index Previous Cover Stories | Top Of Page Send mail to The Voice| Journalism department website © 2001 The Voice. No part of this publication may be reproduced in written or electronic form without prior written consent from the journalism adviser of Multnomah Bible College. All rights reserved.