"Jesus," Leetha Lee said, "if you heal my mom, I'll serve you when I'm older."

Even though Leetha was only 5 years old, Jesus' presence was as real to her as the lamp light shining on her dark skin.

Leetha's mother, suffering the early stages of diabetes, did get better.

Leetha's life, however, grew worse.

For the next 15 years, Leetha grew up with an alcoholic and absent father. When her father drank, he physically abused his wife and verbally abused his eight children. Other times, work kept him away from home.

As the third youngest child, Leetha's older siblings often spoke for her, handicapping her with shyness.

Nonetheless, despite the hardships, Leetha and her family regularly went to church. When Leetha was still a little girl, her mom taught her that Jesus is real and gave her a Bible.

"I saw my mom live what she believed," Leetha said. "And I knew it was real because of her."

But Leetha's encounter with other Christians told a different story.

Most believers, she said, couldn't tell her what God meant to them. Often they shoved tracts into her hand and mumbled something about reading them to get saved.

By age 20, she did not want anything to do with being saved. Anger from her abusive past festered. "Part of me wanted to die," she said.

Mad at God and Christians, Leetha went to church camp as a counselor.

Actually, an older couple in her church had insisted that Leetha go and even paid her way.

Leetha liked the Hinthornes. Mr. Hinthorne always treated his wife with respect. And both of them freely talked about God.

Unknown to Leetha, the Hinthornes prayed for her regularly and sensed God wanted her at camp.

Leetha obliged their request and went thinking camp would be fun. But by day three, she was miserable.

"Everybody was always praying to Jesus," Leetha said. "Everytime I turned around somebody was singing some Christian song.

"Don't you guys know any R & B?" Leetha would ask.

Other counselors reprimanded Leetha because on the first two nights she had sneaked outside with four kids for shaving cream and water balloon fights. The counselors called Leetha a bad influence and threatened to send her home.

By the third day, she was furious. These Christians are weird, Leetha thought. Besides, how could God mean anything when her father had been abusive especially to his Christian wife? If that's eternal life, Leetha thought, I don't want it.

Frustrated, she tried reading the Bible her mom had given her. But the King James text did not register.

"What's the point?' she growled and hurled her Bible across the room.

That evening in chapel, Leetha seethed. She sat in the last row and turned her back toward the pastor as he preached.

Man, why doesn't he shut up? Leetha sneered to herself.

He did. He stopped preaching.

Leetha thought, There's no way he could have heard me, not with 250 campers in here.

Pastor Trask rubbed his chin, dropped his head and started pacing.

He heard me, Leetha thought.

Then he put his hands in his pocket and said, "Somebody here needs to come to the Lord."

Not me, she thought.

"If you don't come now," Pastor Trask said, "you never will."

Leetha jumped to her feet, feeling God's presence. Instantly, she knew that God had saved her.

Nonetheless, she walked to the chapel's front, kneeled, and prayed with the camp staff.

"Lord," she asked, "Please give me something so that I know this is real."

As she stood, she felt God replace her childhood shyness with a quiet boldness which she still has today.

During the last 20 years, God has helped Leetha forgive her dad and renew their relationship.

Leetha still works with children and this May, she plans to graduate as the first woman to complete the pastoral ministries major at Multnomah.