Profile

by Anna Gorra

"It is good for us guys to see a healthy marriage lived out before us. Many guys who come from broken homes have never seen this before."

--Josh Campbell

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New Couple Thrives in Challenging Dorm Environment

Joe and Broni Slavens on their wedding day. The Slavens are living in South Aldrich and are expecting their first child. --Joe Slavens, photo

Joe Slavens was her first date. Today, Broni Slavens is the only woman living in Multnomah Bible College's Aldrich Dormitory for men, an environment in stark contrast to the little sheep and wheat farm she grew up on in western Australia.

Her first meeting with Mr. Slavens was ironic. "I was over here on a working holiday," Mrs. Slavens said. "I came to the States for what I thought was just four months after I graduated [from college]. I planned on living in San Francisco, but that fell through."

Mrs. Slavens had just earned her bachelor of arts in communication with emphases on marketing and film. When Sunday arrived, Mrs. Slavens rummaged the Yellow Pages looking for a church to attend and located one called Mt. Tahoma Baptist Church in Lakewood, Wash. She decided to visit.

Mr. Slavens, who rarely traveled home to Lakewood, had decided to visit his parents during Christmas break. Mr. Slavens' dad is the pastor of Mount Tahoma Baptist Church.

"It's so random," Mrs. Slavens said. "If I had driven past the church, I probably wouldn't have ever turned in there because it's just this little pokey thing [on the outside]."

Mr. and Mrs. Slavens met that Sunday morning, and after church, Mr. Slavens asked his mom to invite Mrs. Slavens to lunch. This was the unexpected beginning of their new lives together.

First came an after-church lunch meeting. Then Mr. Slavens called her a few times. "And she still didn't get it!" Mr. Slavens said. "She didn't call me back."

"I just thought it was because he was checking in on me because I didn't have a job and hadn't met very many people yet," Mrs. Slavens said. She didn't think twice that Mr. Slavens might have an interest in her.

After several tries, Mr. Slavens finally got to talk with her. Unfortunately, Mrs. Slavens said she was packing up. A disappointed Mr. Slavens quickly regained confidence when Mrs. Slavens said she was preparing to spend a few days in Canada and would be returning. So Mr. Slavens gathered up his nerve and asked Mrs. Slavens out on a date. "I was like, 'oh, my goodness. What do I do?'" Mrs. Slavens said. "It was the first date I had been on. I never had a boyfriend before."

Later, they agreed that the first date went very well. "We had a lot of fun, and at the end of that date, she asked me out," Mr. Slavens said.

"And he didn't say anything back," Mrs. Slavens said. So she wondered if he really liked her. In her mind she threw around the what if's and concluded that because he had traveled so far (from Portland to Lakewood) and was making such an effort, that surely he must like her.

Mr. Slavens didn't call Mrs. Slavens for two weeks because he was struggling with the 10-year difference in their ages.

But after about a month-and-a-half and a "defining the relationship" talk, Mr. and Mrs. Slavens realized they had mutual feelings for one another.

"I e-mailed Broni's dad who lives in Australia to ask for his permission to officially date her," Mr. Slavens said. He later found out Mrs. Slavens' entire family read the e-mail and consented to the relationship.

Mr. and Mrs. Slavens dated for seven months before getting married on Dec. 20, 2003.

Mr. Slavens has served for eight years as resident director of Aldrich Dormitory. He described life before marriage as episodes from "Seinfeld."

Mr. Slavens's R.D. apartment in south Aldrich formerly served as an entrance to the men's dorm. Resident assistants were given keys and were free to use the apartment as often as they wanted.

During their engagement, Mr. and Mrs. Slavens had running conversations about continuing at Multnomah and about Mr. Slavens's R.D. position. Staying would mean living in the Aldrich apartment Mr. Slavens had lived in for seven years. Mrs. Slavens was willing to give this idea a try and was supportive of her husband's job.

"I love my job," Mr. Slavens said. "Before marriage, I gave above and beyond to the job just because I could." The newlyweds decided to set up house in the Aldrich dormitory apartment, and Mr. Slavens has kept his R.D. position.

Josh Campbell, head resident assistant, has known Mr. Slavens for four years and has worked with him for three years. He has observed the change in Aldrich dorm and in Mr. Slavens's apartment.

"Before Joe and Broni got married, his apartment was like Multnomah central," Campbell said. "Guys would just walk through his room on the way to class because it was faster. There were always large groups of people there late at night. If a person wanted to find people, they would go to Joe's. Now Joe's apartment is his and Broni's. It is their home and a place where their privacy is valued. They are still very welcoming for guys to come hang out, but now there are certain hours when guys can do this."

Marriage put a spin on the "Seinfeld" lifestyle of spontaneous comings and goings throughout the Slavens' apartment.

Mrs. Slavens has adapted to the living arrangement and has learned to appreciate it, Mr. Slavens said. She grew up as a "froofie farm girl" who loved to play with her dolls, dogs and cats instead of doing farm labor.

"The benefits of the [R.D.] job are amazing," Mrs. Slavens said. "Not every newlywed couple gets to have lunch together every day."

The flexibility also allows Mrs. Slavens to work as a freelance make-up artist for Estee Lauder. "I've always liked make-up and said, 'well, now's the time try something out with that and have a bit of fun,'" she said.

Overall, Campbell said that having Mr. and Mrs. Slavens living in Aldrich has been beneficial.

"It is good for us guys to see a healthy marriage lived out before us," Campbell said. "Many guys who come from broken homes have never seen this before. And Joe has a joy and freedom in life that wasn't as strong before Broni. It's awesome to see how much they love each other."

This couple is also dreaming big.

Since he was 4 years old, Mr. Slavens has always dreamed of being president of a country. Mr. Slavens's political ambitions have taken a love for a country other than his own -- Australia. "We want to raise our family in Australia," Mr. Slavens said.

Their family is already growing with their first addition due on Sept. 23, 2005.

The Slavens place a high emphasis on family and have developed their own code of family values that includes four C's -- cherish, challenge, change, and charity. They describe these as four stages in life.

In the first few years, Mr. and Mrs. Slavens want to spend time cherishing one another. Then they want to challenge their kids in their faith and thinking.

The children will go out and, as a family, be able to change the world. And they want to be known as having charity for all people, whatever age.

So far, Mr. Slavens has visited Australia three times. The Slavens hope to relocate to Australia sometime between 2008 or 2009. Once their children are raised, Mr. Slavens will begin pursuing politics.

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