Meredith Lund, a 1998 graduate of Multnomah Bible College, began starving herself when she was in elementary school. At age 11, driven by the fear of being fat, Meredith lost more than 50 pounds, beginning a 10-year struggle with anorexia.

Meredith described herself as a quiet, self-conscious girl who was very aware of what others thought of her. In fifth grade, at 5 feet 4 inches tall, she weighed 130 pounds. Kids at school teased her about her weight. "I remember getting on the scales one day and seeing the numbers and saying, 'I'm never going to be fat again,'" she said. Six months later, she had dropped from 130 to 75 pounds.

Meredith felt controlled by God, controlled by the church, and controlled by her parents. "I felt there was a lot of pressure on me to perform and do things just right," she said. "This was the thing I could do to take away some of the pain and gain some control back in my life."

Meredith said her parents didn't know what was going on because little medical knowledge or help relating to eating disorders was available. They realized she had a problem but didn't know how to help.

"I remember my dad talking to me about calorie intake. He told me a body needs a certain number of calories to function. At that time, my body was in starvation mode. I was always cold. I was shaky, and I couldn't think clearly. I was looking for a way to feel better," she said.

Her dad showed her the number of calories she should take in each day for her height. She began consuming the proper number of calories and gaining weight. But counting calories soon became an obsession.

"If I didn't stick within a certain amount of calories each day, I felt like I had failed, and I would restrict myself the next day," she said.

Despite her obsessive behavior, Meredith maintained a healthier weight after receiving her dad's advice. But she continued to struggle with anorexia throughout high school. She explained that anorexics starve themselves and will think they're fat when they're skin and bones.

"My friends noticed I was thin but didn't know how to help," she said. "They would say things like, 'You're so thin' or 'You look so good.' Those comments weren't helpful; they just fed the problem."

TV and magazines also added to her negative self-image. "I remember seeing magazine articles that announced the woman's height and weight. I thought I had to look like that--I had to weigh that," she said. "It was a standard I had to live up to."

When Meredith was 16, her condition worsened. After a painful break-up with her boyfriend, her weight dropped below 100 pounds.

Meredith began seeing a Christian counselor who specialized in eating disorders and attended for two years. She said the counseling was a key factor in her recovery. The counselor helped her work through self-esteem issues and learn to communicate with her family. She quit counseling when she was 18 to attend Multnomah. "I don't think I was totally ready to leave," she said. "I still had some things I hadn't worked through."

As a result, she struggled during her freshman year at Multnomah. "I was afraid of being away from home," she said. "Meals were cafeteria-style so everyone was watching you eat, and it became very overwhelming to me."

In response to the stress, she slipped back into her harmful behaviors. She began overeating and using laxatives. Her eating disorder shifted from anorexia to bulimia, a disorder in which one binges and purges. "The counselor gave me the tools I needed to recover, but I didn't always choose to use them," she said.

When she went home for Christmas, she was ill from using laxatives. She had an argument with her parents and moved to Spokane to live with her aunt and uncle. Soon after her arrival, they moved to California.

Meredith began working two jobs to support herself. "My heart was very irregular because of the laxatives I was using, and I was sick all the time," she said. "That was my lowest point." After a grueling three weeks living alone, Meredith moved in with her grandparents. There, she made a choice. "I remember thinking about what I was doing and realizing that I was hurting God, and I was hurting others and myself. And I really wanted to stop," she said. "I made up my mind to stop the behaviors, and a change took place overnight."

One-and-a-half years later, in the fall of 1993, she returned to Multnomah healthy. But she still struggled with old habits. "I would sneak down to the scale six to 10 times a day and have to know. If my weight was up a quarter pound, I would get really obsessive and scared. At that time, I was at a healthy weight, but I was focused on it having to stay there."

Meredith said she finally gained victory over anorexia and bulimia when she gave that area of her life to Christ. She graduated from Multnomah last semester and has a deep desire to help people who are struggling with eating disorders.

"I'm thankful that it happened, even though it was hard. I feel God allowed me to go through that situation and still allows me to struggle sometimes so I can help others," she said. "I'm thankful for the experience because of the growth that I've seen. God helped me to grow up and have a more real relationship with Him."