Cover Story by Carolyn Stent "I felt like I was screaming but in front of a glass wall."

Back to Table of Contents | Back to Main Index Previous Cover Stories | Send mail to The Voice College students vulnerable to depression Students suffering from depression often feel isolated and helpless. -Daniel Stent, photo Rebecca Sawyer,* 20, felt like a hamster on a wheel. She began each day at Multnomah Bible College determined to be honest with people about her fears and doubts. Instead, she ended each day crying for hours and then working on homework into the early morning. Patricia O'Brien,* 22, locked her door, dropped her bag on the floor and crawled into bed. She did not leave her dorm room at Multnomah Bible College for several days. I could die in here, and no one would know, she thought to herself. David Needham, professor of Bible and Theology at Multnomah Bible College, wished he could climb into his brain and yell, "Stop!" Fearful thoughts revolved in his mind. He tried to calm himself by taking a deep breath. He wondered what could be more disgraceful than for a Bible college professor to end up in a mental hospital. Each of these people suffered from depression. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that "18.8 million American adults in a given year have a depressive disorder." According to the Institute's web page, the average age at the onset of major depressive disorder is the mid-20s. Young adults in their mid-20s who attend college experience unsettling transitions. "We make decisions and form values and enter into many relationships," Sawyer said. Sawyer, a junior at MBC, began experiencing depression's symptoms in the fall of 2000. During Christmas break she found herself crying for no apparent reason. She said the following spring semester was the hardest time of her life. "I felt like I was screaming but in front of a glass wall," she said. "People couldn't hear me or didn't know how to help." O'Brien, a senior at MBC, had suffered with depression since her family moved to Oregon when she was 9. She attended Cascade College in Portland, Ore., for a year. Then she moved home and commuted to Mt. Hood Community College. In January, 2000, she transferred to Multnomah Bible College. While at Cascade College, O'Brien cried continually and constantly got sick. For a period of time, she skipped classes because she could not get out of bed. "Depression messes with your sleep cycle," O'Brien said. "You sleep all day and sit up all night crying." O'Brien said she has learned that the body and mind are inextricably linked. "When your body is not doing well, it releases more hormones, which is where your emotions come from," she said. "Then you've got the chemicals in your brain that cause depression." Sawyer visited a family doctor during Christmas vacation. The doctor recommended that she exercise for 30 minutes a day, eat well, follow a regular schedule and get good sleep. The doctor also prescribed medication. Sawyer said that many college students don't follow a regular sleep schedule and develop bad eating habits. For instance, Sawyer turned to food for the comfort she didn't receive from people. Sawyer believed she needed to perform to be worth anything. She thought she had to make every appointment, take every opportunity to write encouraging notes, achieve straight A's and read three chapters of the Bible every day. Professor Needham said that college students find themselves in a highly competitive context. "You have so many people to compare yourself with," he said. "It is easy to become discouraged by your inadequacies." Professors also experience this pressure. In 1964, soon after he began teaching at Multnomah, Professor Needham struggled with depression and anxiety. "I was [supposed] to be an example of a godly man and a victorious Christian, but I was fearful all the time," he said. Professor Needham thought he was losing his mind. Preparation for lectures and notes demanded Professor Needham's time and energy. His fears emerged when he tried to sleep at night or when he watched other faculty and compared himself with them. Sawyer said a campus provides a community for students. She stayed at home for short periods of time during the semester to rest in the shelter of her family. Sawyer said that these visits made her feel more disconnected and isolated from people at school. Professor Needham said that the constant presence of people keeps depression sufferers from giving in to their fears. On the other hand, the inevitable stress of relationships can aggravate depression. O'Brien had her own room in the dorm. However, she was often sick because of allergic reactions to dust and lingering perfume smells in the halls and bathrooms. The resident assistant confronted O'Brien about a phone call she had overheard through the walls. O'Brien felt that Multnomah had taken away her freedom. As a result of her anxiety disorder, O'Brien became scared when strangers smiled at her in the hall. "Everyone around me seemed to have the answers," O'Brien said. Professor Needham said depression may thrive on a Bible college campus more so than on a secular campus. Students at secular colleges make comparisons based on academic achievement, physical appearance and personality. Bible colleges have the added potential for spiritual comparisons. Sawyer said that immersion in God's word was an advantage she would not have enjoyed if she had lived alone and worked. "I was encouraged when I came to the Bible and read about messed up people that God used," she said. Sawyer also appreciated the free counseling she received. Karen Fancher, dean of women, helped Sawyer identify the lies she had believed. Professor Needham encourages students suffering from depression to get a full physical exam. Doctors discovered that Professor Needham's depression resulted from an overactive pancreas that produced too much insulin. Whenever he ate sugars or starches, his body went into a low sugar swing. Professor Needham cut sugars and starches out of his diet. "I haven't had a scoop of Multnomah's ice cream in 35 years," he said. "Anyone who is depressed needs to go to a good Christian cognitive therapist," O'Brien said. "Going to therapy helped me realize how sick and wrong my thinking was." Professor Needham also recommended that students suffering from depression should exercise and get enough sleep. "Those are the first things I talk[ed] about before I ever talked about any spiritual aspect," he said. Professor Needham walks and prays each evening. Sawyer said she now sees healthy lifestyle habits as more of a priority. She works out in the gym with a friend. A student suffering from depression may need to lighten her schedule Ms, Sawyer said. She quit her job during the spring semester. "It is important to sift through what is going in your life," she said. "You need time to do that." Sawyer encouraged students suffering from depression to believe God's word and cling to it more than to circumstances. "Reinforce your concept of God," Professor Needham said. "Grapple with the faithfulness, grace and love of God." Back to Table of Contents | Back to Main Index Previous Cover Stories | Top Of Page Send mail to The Voice| Journalism department website © 2001 The Voice. No part of this publication may be reproduced in written or electronic form without prior written consent from the journalism adviser of Multnomah Bible College. All rights reserved.