Cover Story

by Allison Brandow

Chastity is the right ordering of sexual pleasure and the right ordering of sexual desire.

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Chastity a Reachable Goal,
Author Says

Dawn Eden, 39, worked as a journalist reporting on the rock music scene and wrote more than 80 CD covers. --Dawn Eden, photo

Eight years ago, Dawn Eden lived what she calls a "Sex and the City" lifestyle. She sought fulfillment through relationships with men, either as boyfriends or as one-night stands.

But at age 31, Ms. Eden became a Christian. She soon realized that God had a different view of sexuality than what popular culture had taught her. In 2006, she wrote a book titled "The Thrill of the Chaste," in which she presents what she has learned about chastity since recognizing its importance.

Ms. Eden, 39, works for the Cardinal Newman Society, a Catholic non-profit organization. She visits college campuses around the United States, discussing the importance of chastity and challenging women and men to live chastely, no matter what their backgrounds.

The Voice: How would you define chastity?

Ms. Eden: Chastity is the right ordering of sexual pleasure and the right ordering of sexual desire. Sex is a gift from God, and sex between a husband and a wife brings them both closer to one another and to God. Chastity means recognizing this.

Then, outside of marriage, you're not merely abstaining from sex; you're looking at other people as God sees them and not as objects or thinking of how you can use them.

The Voice: How is chastity different from purity?

Ms. Eden: Purity I see as being larger than chastity. Purity is certainly necessary for chastity, but I preferred the term chastity because, when you have already had sex or used your sexual desire in a way that goes against what God wants, you may not feel pure.

I know intellectually that I am pure because I have been baptized and washed in Christ's blood. But at the same time, it's hard for me to get my head wrapped around the idea that I am pure.

The Voice: Could you summarize your book in a couple sentences?

Ms. Eden: It's an autobiographical self-help book. Unlike a lot of other self-help books for women on how to have more sex or how to have better sex, mine is about how to have no sex.

The Voice: What sort of response have you received to the book?

Ms. Eden: The book is in its fifth printing now, and considering that it just came out last December, that's impressive. I've been asked throughout America and in the United Kingdom to give talks, so the response has been overwhelming.

The Voice: Who is your audience?

Ms. Eden: I aimed the book at women in their 20s and 30s. But when I talk, my audiences tend to be mostly male, which surprised me at first. But I discovered that men are very interested in chastity, and there's little information out there for them once they pass their teens.

The Voice: How can unmarried women and men be chaste?

Ms. Eden: The first thing to do is not have sex outside of marriage. But beyond that, you have to re-evaluate who you are as a person and who you are in God. You have to sincerely care about showing God's love to everyone around you. Chastity is about having a purpose in life and knowing that that purpose goes beyond marriage.

The Voice: What effect does clothing have on how men and women are perceived?

Ms. Eden: It has a tremendous effect. Clothing is how we present ourselves to the world. We should be a light unto the world; we should be a gift unto the world. But that gift should be our personality and not particular body parts.

I advise readers of my book that when they choose clothing they should stay away from clothes designed to accentuate certain parts of their body. I also tell people not to just wear potato sacks; we are given beauty for a reason and, regardless of how someone is conventionally attractive, how they dress can help to play up their inner light.

The Voice: Is it the same for men as for women?

Ms. Eden: Yes. Certainly the issue of modest dressing is not as much of a problem for men as for women. But men still, in the way they dress, should think about letting their light shine. Some man who doesn't care how he looks and lets himself go to pot is sending a negative message. Also, the way you dress affects you as well, and even if you're not looking for someone, you still want to dress in such a way that you're inviting people to speak to you rather than telling people, "Go away!"

The Voice: How do you keep clothing restrictions from being legalistic?

Ms. Eden: I don't get too legalistic in my book. The one thing I did say is that I got rid of all my patent vinyl clothing. I think I also say that I don't advise underwear as outerwear, but beyond that I think there is something to be said for free will.

I think that it really comes down to having respect for oneself and for other people. To me, one way of respecting my body is showing that I know who it's for--it's for me, it's for my husband.

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