Cover Story by Iyesha Lynch [Pornography is] when the human body is used to incite lust.

Back to Table of Contents | Back to Main Index Previous Cover Stories | Send mail to The Voice Pornography invades women's minds Pornography pollutes the mind.-Iyesha Lynch, photo Traditionally, men have been cast as the only ones who struggle with pornography, but this stereotype has changed as the U.S. culture has adopted more sexual freedom. The Christian community also reflects this trend. The Voice asked three professionals for their thoughts on women's struggles with pornography. Dr. Friesen is a professor of Bible at Multnomah Bible College. Sear-ainya Bond is a lay pastor and coordinator at east Hill Church. She leads a class for women who struggle with relationship addiction and sexual issues. Muriel Cook is a biblical counselor with women at MBC. The Voice: What classifies something as pornography? Friesen: When you treat a person's body as a thing rather than treating a body as part of a person. When the human body is used to incite lust. Bond: Men who have struggled with pornography classify even commercials as pornography. each person needs to ask the Holy Spirit to help him or her draw the line in his or her own mind. Cook: Sexual stimulation is appropriate within the bonds of marriage. Anything that leads to arousal outside that relationship should be considered pornographic and inappropriate for a believer. The Voice: Why are men, rather than women, traditionally classified as having struggled with pornography and lust? Friesen: For men the eye gate is more powerful, but for women the heart gate is more powerful. For women, promises of romance and intimacy are more powerful. Men give love to get sex; women give sex to get love. Bond: Women may have always struggled; it's much more socially acceptable for men to express their sexuality. Women are usually more emotionally stimulated, and men are more visually stimulated. Cook: A woman's sex drive is generally not as developed as a young man's until after she is married. The Voice: Do you think there has been an increase in women who struggle with pornography or lust in the last 20 to 30 years? Why? Friesen: Yes. Pornography's availability in private has changed dramatically for both men and women. Twenty or 30 years ago it took two or three bad decisions to end up with a magazine in hand. Now, you put a word in the Internet and pornography flies at you. Bond: Absolutely. Mostly because of the introduction of the Internet. My pastor often says, "Internet pornography is the crack cocaine of sexual addiction in our society." Cook: Yes. Thirty years ago society frowned on pre-marital sex and pregnancy outside of marriage. Today TV, movies and women's magazines present promiscuous sex as fine. The Voice: What are some of the things that lead women into pornography or lust? Friesen: All people are made sexual beings. If they feel like they don't connect with people, they will seek to fulfill their needs through other means. Bond: Women get into sex addiction to meet needs for love and nurturing. They start out wanting to meet a need and get addicted to pornography in the process. Cook: Succumbing to the social pressure of sexual permissiveness. Also, if a girl is abused or exposed to sex when she is little, she is unknowingly sensitized to it. The Voice: Do you think the entertainment and fashion industries have influenced women to become more visually aroused? Friesen: They sure try. But in a movie advertisement, a love story that is desirable brings in women more than scantily dressed men do. The picture of women getting men by being provocative may damage women more. They may think they need to be provocative in order to get men and have a relationship. Bond: Yes. Women are already vulnerable and very susceptible to becoming visually aroused. It is no wonder women have gotten into pornography; they are being fed from every side. Cook: Yes. Women become aroused when they know they have power to arouse men. The Voice: Why does the church fail to address women in the area of lust? Friesen: Private sins are easy to keep private. So it's harder to know lust is there until it's out of control. Bond: Fear of failure, of our own sexuality, or of the unknown. A person who is afraid to talk about sexuality is usually insecure about his or her own sexuality. Cook: Pornography is a sensitive and delicate subject that often generates controversy, which most people want to avoid. The Voice: What does God think of pornography? Friesen: It is a perversion of a good thing. He made people and their bodies, and sex and marriage, beautiful. Bond: Jesus was clear when he said to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. He sees pornography as an idol. Like any other addiction, it takes the heart and worship off of him. Cook: God created sex for the pleasure of men and women, and he established guidelines for its maximum enjoyment and mutual benefit. Pornography is outside of those guidelines. He detests it because it is demeaning, destructive, and demoralizing to all involved. The Voice: At what point does fantasy become lust and sin? Friesen: When it pushes us toward sexual desires that cannot be met morally or lawfully. Bond: Fantasy becomes sin when it's sexual in nature and it's about someone other than one's spouse. Cook: The minute we see or hear something that stimulates an immoral response in our head, it becomes wrong. What Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 applies equally to men and women: "Anyone who looks on a woman (man) lustfully has already committed adultery in his (her) heart." The Voice: Are all sexual thoughts sin, and at what point do they become sin? Friesen: When thoughts view a person as a thing for one's own pleasure. Bond: Not all sexual thoughts are sin. If you are married, sexual thoughts about your husband are not wrong. But if, while looking at someone you are not married to, you think, "I wish I could have sex with him," that is a sin. Cook: Sexuality is not sin; God created it. It's in how it is used. Sex outside of God's standard is hurtful to all involved. The Voice: What are some early warning signs that one has been pulled into the snare of pornography or lust? Friesen: When you look at a person as a body rather than as a person. Bond: Keeping secrets is the first sign. The woman will lower her priorities. For instance, she won't go to church, connect with friends, or read her Bible as much as she used to. Other things become her priorities, such as going out to clubs or dating a new guy. Another sign is she may spend extraordinary amounts of time on the Internet. Cook: When a woman wants to dress seductively or act out what she has seen. When sensual thoughts and relationships become controlling and seemingly irresistible. The Voice: How can you protect yourself from a sexually saturated world? Friesen: You can't protect yourself fully. But you can avoid people, places or things that move you to lust rather than love. each person has to determine what kinds of things do that. Bond: We all choose what we are going to worship. We can tell the moment we turn our hearts to something impure or dishonorable to God. Stay connected to God. Cook: Thoroughly understand and apply Galatians 2:20, Philippians 1:21, and Romans 6. Make a list of what is appropriate for viewing, for conversation topics and for personal meditation and "daydreaming." The Voice: How can a woman become free of pornography or lust? Friesen: The key is found in Philippians 4:8, where we are told to fill our minds with things that are pure and beautiful. Passion for Christ can drain lust of its power. Bond: Women don't become free by themselves. James 5:12 says to "confess our sins one to another," and I John 1:9 says "if we confess our sins to God, he will forgive us our sins." Becoming free is achieved through confessing our sins to others and to God. Cook: By recognizing she needs help, going to a mature spiritual counselor and confessing the sin in her life. By developing accountability relationships, and by restructuring her lifestyle and priorities. The Voice: Do you have any additional comments? Friesen: Having an accountability partner to whom you report temptations is helpful, but it won't work without honesty. Bond: Women need to know they are not alone. The enemy's scheme is to keep us thinking we are alone and there is no way out. But women who were once completely addicted are now walking free because of the power of the Holy Spirit. Cook: We need to write across our hearts, 'I, too, am vulnerable'. Overconfidence in this area can lead to miserable failure. We have to be vigilant to protect ourselves. In ephesians 5:3 we are told that among believers "...there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity...." Back to Table of Contents | Back to Main Index Previous Cover Stories | Top Of Page Send mail to The Voice| Journalism department website © 2002 The Voice. No part of this publication may be reproduced in written or electronic form without prior written consent from the journalism adviser of Multnomah Bible College. All rights reserved.